You’re worn out with the strain of it. You wake in the morning with dread of what the next hour and a half will bring, as you face the prospect of trying to get your school phobic child to wake, eat, dress, and get out of the door into the car and into school and then get yourself to a day’s work.
You love your child and want the best for them. You’ve been advised to keep taking them into school however hard it gets. To make home less comfortable, to not listen to their protestations of being unwell or unable to cope. To disregard the tantrums, the verbal and physical battles; just get them into school.
Easier said than done
As the parent of school phobic child this is SO much easier said than done…. particularly when at the back of your minds is the growing feeling that this just feels so wrong, that this is not what this child needs from you right now.
We kept it up for a year and a half, getting our 14 year old son into school, it was hell on earth, so much stress and anguish, so many apologies and melt downs.
Then came the day when we couldn’t do it any more, our family was breaking under the strain of trying to keep him in school. I remember going into his room on a Thursday morning and just saying that I couldn’t do it any more, I couldn’t force him into school anymore. I told him that I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t know how, or if, he would get an education, but I couldn’t do this anymore.
The moment it all changed
And at that moment, a massive shift happened for us as a family. We stopped forcing our son into school and turned our attention, with him onto fighting his phobia. It felt weird, it felt scary, it took time to let go of the stress, but I have no doubt that on that day we took the right first step towards our son becoming the hardworking, confident man he is today.
Avoiding the pains and pitfalls of school phobia
Here at Ground beneath your feet, working as life coach, advisor and mentor to families of school phobic children, never a day goes by when I don’t draw on my own personal experience of being the parent of a school refusing child to aid my work helping others to beat their phobia and avoid the pain and pitfalls that we went through as a family.
Over to you…
- So how would it be if you had the opportunity to just stop and think about what’s happening for you right now?
- How would it be to safely explore what is possible?
- Can you imagine being able to think about what feels right, and being able to contemplate a pathway to a much happier brighter future for you and your child?
When families first make contact they find that this is what we do first together. I call it stabilizing the ground beneath your feet, finding the solid ground from which to work from.
In continually trying to improve the support I provide, I am always interested in talking to the parents of school phobic children. In exchange for a 30 minute research session I offer a 30 minute initial advisory session as a thank you. Click here to email me and request an appointment.